We live in a society that has created many unrealistic expectations for relationships. Many of us are obsessed with finding the perfect partner who will fulfill our every desire. But it’s just impossible. The perfect partner does not exist!
Searching for the perfect partner can prevent you from finding a lasting relationship or lead you to unhappy relationships. Worse, it can cause you to project an ideal version of a partner onto someone you meet. This idea can set high expectations on them that can hurt them and you.
For those who believe in true love, learning that the perfect partner does not exist can be a huge disappointment. But you don’t need a “perfect” person to have a long-lasting, happy, healthy relationship. In other words, the perfect person doesn’t exist, but you can still have a great relationship.
1. How to build a healthy and happy relationship with a partner who is not perfect
Good relationships are the result of a lot of hard work. With your partner, you should try to build a real relationship with solid foundations. These efforts will create a harmonious and loving union!
Set a goal
When you make decisions for the development of the relationship, both of you should actively make them. Many people fall into the trap of “playing the game” in the later stages of their relationships, studies show. They end up unwittingly following a relationship development without really thinking about it.
For example, you can call yourself partners just because you went on five successful dates, not because you sat down and talked about making your relationship official.
It sounds silly, but starting a relationship with a purpose and developing it based on active decision-making is essential to a happy, realistically structured relationship. This keeps you both on the same page so you can grow together!
Spend quality time together
You want to spend all your time together at the beginning of a relationship. But over time, this desire may disappear. This change can affect the quality of a relationship and you may start to feel that you have nothing in common, making you think that your partner is not the right person for you.
So make sure you always make quality time for each other! Put the phones away and spend time together. Have fun together, try new things, and make sure you make time for each other.
· Show him that you love him and that he is your perfect match
According to research, one of the main reasons for separation is that one or both couples feel unappreciated due to a lack of attention or affection. There are many ways to show your love to your partner. Your partner needs to feel loved every day. He may not be perfect, but no one is.
2. The importance of communication
You’ve probably heard that communication is essential for a healthy relationship. Although a bit cliché, it is very true. You can easily expect your partner to read your mind or make assumptions based on your own experiences and feelings.
Many ideas of a “perfect” relationship include a partner who “always knows” what to say and do. This expectation is particularly unrealistic. The truth is that every person is unique in the way they think, feel and understand the world. We are all shaped by our past experiences.
Therefore, your partner does not necessarily respond in the same way as you in the same situation. The things that matter to you are the things that he doesn’t care about, and vice versa. If you don’t explain your wants and needs to him, he might not understand them.
Here are some tips for maintaining a healthy and open dialogue in your relationship:
Communicate with that person even in conflicts
All relationships go through conflict. So it is not the existence of arguments that determines the greatness of a relationship. Research shows that how you communicate these conflicts matters. When you’re angry with your partner, you tend to get angry, shut down, and cross boundaries.
To keep the conflict productive, you must continue to communicate in a healthy way. Express your feelings in a way that doesn’t blame your partner, then listen carefully to your partner when they speak.
· Listen to him
Communication is not just talking. It’s also about listening to your partner’s thoughts. Focus completely on him when he speaks. Don’t listen with the intention of answering, listen to your partner to understand their perspective on things. Focus on empathy above all else!
3. How to overcome unreasonable expectations of a perfect partner
Here are some tips to overcome these unreasonable expectations:
Be prepared for ups and downs in your relationship
Your relationship will go through ups and downs. There are times when you feel further away, difficult times and other complicated times. You will argue and make mistakes, because none of you are perfect. But you will also have more good times than bad, and you will have a life full of love, which is worth it. Don’t miss all the highs because of some lows!
Check if your expectations are realistic
If you have expectations of your partner, check if they are reasonable. Have you met these expectations recently? Do you react well when someone asks this of you? If you know you don’t, it’s time to let go of those expectations.
It’s normal to have ideas about what you’re looking for in a long-term partner. If these expectations are reasonable and fair, it will save you a lot of pain.
In other words, even if the perfect person doesn’t exist, there are people who aren’t right for you. You may disagree because of your beliefs, personality, or emotional maturity. Or maybe it’s because you don’t share your future.
To pave the way for a healthy and fulfilling relationship, you don’t expect perfection and you have to be willing to build a relationship and grow with someone. But you also need to have expectations and standards for your health and happiness.
It’s all about balance! Work hard to build a good relationship, make communication a priority, and forget about unreasonable expectations without holding back your own realistic and healthy desires.
· Expectations of giving and receiving
To maintain a healthy relationship, you and your partner must compromise. Instead of focusing on “winning,” focus on cooperation and compromise. Try to find a win-win compromise!