When one is uncomfortable with one’s body and one’s sexuality, it can often be frustrating and exhausting to give one the closest person: one’s nakedness, one’s desires, the an orgasms … This lack of trust hinders all stages of a romantic encounter, starting with seduction: how to maintain a hot conquest of another creature if you don’t love yourself, if you’re paralyzed by the idea to expose her nudity, her sex or her “defects”? How to follow your deepest desires when you don’t consider yourself who you are and when you are not connected to your body and your physical senses? How do you allow yourself to be happy when you are afraid of your complications, the fear of judging others or your inability to do so?
These questions emphasize the extent to which sexual trust is not anecdotal: it is important to leave oneself unchecked by desire and pleasure. Some studies have shown that self -esteem, which contributes to confidence, has an effect on sexual satisfaction: according to Hopkins ’work[1] in 2010, the most sexually satisfied women were those with better self -esteem, positive body image and high levels of sex awareness.
The fairer sex are more likely to lack sexual confidence, especially because of their poor body image. A woman has to feel desirable and loved to indulge her desire, a situation that is less accessible when trust fails. A study[2] showed that feeling sexually attractive was associated with higher marital satisfaction (part examined by sexuality).
An observation to qualify, because men are more sensitive to sex commands, to the size of their penis, to the hardness of their erections. [3] or the necessary need to be efficient, a real source of concern. The result: sexual trust is compromised.
How to get out of this vicious circle, where negative thoughts can destroy sexual satisfaction? Through the association of the “small way”, related to the body, performance, eroticism, the couple …
Sexuality is often marred by negative thoughts about one’s imperfections or shortcomings. It is important to recognize them and exchange them with positive thoughts. Instead of “I have too much cellulite on my butt”, think “I have a very sexy low neckline”. Or instead of “I see that my penis is too small”, it’s better to think “I know it will give my wife a lot of pleasure”, and so on.
The best argument for accepting your body comes from whoever shares your bed: accept that your partner finds you attractive, despite your so-called imperfections. If he falls in love with you, it’s because your body has an effect on him!
Other tips from psychologists: see yourself as having more goodness, giving importance to what you like than what you hate, give yourself compliments, listen to your lover, massage your body and massage, play sports to enjoy. endorphins and feel better in your body … Your self-confidence won’t be disturbed overnight, but by integrating these tips into your approach to surgery, you’ll feel the benefits.
However, if the complications or discomfort are too intense and cause suffering, the help of a psychotherapist is better, as it is more effective.
This advice seems useless: too easy to say, too hard to follow. But all bodies have imperfections and models don’t have to have a happier sex life than others! Above all, men like women who are comfortable with their bodies, thinking of their desires and their happiness … An excited body is a body that responds to stimulation and takes full advantage of of pleasure, and not flawless “beautiful plastic”.
Focusing more on your faults than on your strengths runs the risk of falling into constant dissatisfaction: it can paralyze and hinder good feelings in favor of negative thoughts. However, these pleasurable feelings can help to restore a person’s body … Even if they do not meet current aesthetic standards, they are able to offer more pleasurable ones. sensation. To appreciate their fair value!
The boys were especially concerned about the show and the pressure it brought. But sexuality has nothing to do with any effectiveness! The desire to act is the best way to disrupt physical reactions to sexual arousal, through the stress it creates. In the body, stress goes through the production of adrenaline: this hormone is opposed to the mechanism of erection and vaginal lubrication. It also delays the onset of orgasm.
The consequences of labor anxiety are not only physical: some are unable to indulge sexual desire and pleasure and are unable to enjoy sex. However, fornication should be a privileged opportunity, in which one agrees to be released, to leave oneself without fear of the pleasure of one and the other. It is a moment of intimacy and relaxation, where goodness and playfulness are developed away from the obstacles of everyday life …
The best way to separate yourself from the show is to reconnect with your body by focusing on your physical sensations: the softness of the skin you are kissing, the eroticism of the breasts, the tanning. look at the partner and the desire it expresses, the breathing to speed up… The hug must be lived in the present, just thinking about it, in full consciousness. And if parasitic thoughts persist, constant meditation can teach you to focus on the present moment.
As for stress, it can be managed using physical activity and/or relaxation techniques. If speaking is necessary to evacuate it, it is possible to always call a therapist to find out how to live it better.
Sexual confidence also involves eroticizing one’s body, that is, experiencing it in a more erotic way. Eating, drinking, moving and giving birth are not the only reasons for the birth of the organism: happiness is part of it! And it’s so easy to forget about it after a tiring and stressful day, followed by an evening set aside for household chores… Massage, especially if done by your partner, also offers physical sensation reconnecting with the body. Cultivating your erotic imagination, for example through pornographic readings or exciting movies, is a great way to feed your fantasies and stay in touch with sensuality. Taking care of your body and your appearance can also help maintain seduction, whether you are single or in a relationship.
Masturbation is a great way to have fun, to get to know yourself and pass this knowledge on to others. Solo or duo happiness is a powerful fuel for sexual confidence!
Making love to someone is fake, literally and figuratively … So trusting someone else is important, it echoes sexual trust. The partner relationship is judgmental because everyone has to offer the other a safe and kind space, away from judgment.
This space allows the desires of two lovers to develop as they see fit: desires are expressed freely there, they are listened to, sometimes rejected but always with respect. In a balanced relationship, happiness is given but also received, in equal proportion. This is how the space created and maintained for both nurtures sexual confidence and nurtures it …